Are You the Problem?


I heard a quote yesterday that really resonated with me. It was, "if you have one argument during the day it can go either way but if you have multiple arguments throughout the day, you should look in the mirror."

If you are having a hard day and there seems to be a lot of arguing or conflicts, then maybe it is you that is the problem that day. Maybe you are tired, overwhelmed, or in a bad mood. This is a good time to reflect on what else may be bothering you and see why you are being like this. It is not necessarily a bad thing, as everyone has bad days, it's how you handle it that matters.

This relates to asking someone if something else is going on when they are upset because oftentimes it is not just the argument or problem that is bothering them, they usually have more going on behind the scenes. Research has shown that when your body doesn't get enough sleep, it increases activity in the amygdala which is the part of your brain responsible for emotions. When the activity is increased, the amygdala goes into overdrive which then causes us to be more reactive (and more sensitive).

Some ways you can try to control your emotions are:

  • Sleep

  • Avoid the main stressor

  • Limit your alcohol consumption

  • Practice mindfulness of the situation- understand that you are tired or overwhelmed and this is why you are having the reactions you are having

  • Vent to someone you trust

  • Take a break

  • Relax